"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."
-Demetri Martin

Yeah, can totally relate due to the fact that I virtually kill any plant or fish in my life. My poor children.

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
-Terry Pratchett

AMEN to that! Some folks need to put that filter on!

"There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
-Jerry Seinfeld

....whatever, suck it up for the kids, will ya?